Saturday, July 16, 2011

I can't take this anymore!?

I'm a high school student. I always try my best to make my parents happy and I try my hardest to keep their faith. But that's the problem, they don't have any faith in me. I'm a straight A student, I want to get to college, I'm taking as many Ap's as I can, just to make them be happy and be proud of me. I don't date yet, because I know that is something that would upset them. I'm a trustworthy kid, I stay away from drugs, and all that stupid stuff, I would never do anything to upset them. But they're always doing things to upset me. Right now, my grades are perfect. And yet, they want to make sure I absorb the courses I already took, so they sign me up for this summer school program which has a work load of 82 pages of math a day. And I sit all day doing it. But my parents say I'm slacking off. IT SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF WORK TO ME! I'm a kid, this is supposed to be the best time of my life. They don't let me hang out with the people I want to talk to because they have no faith in me that I will make trustworthy and wise decisions by myself. Today they told me to never talk to my best friends again (the one just because they don't like her,) , and they told my second best friend to never contact me again to her face! You know why? because they saw us having a conversation with a old friend, who happens to be a boy. Boys are out of the question because if you hang out with a guy you automatically are in love with him, and are going to sleep with him, or are going to. They've told me that. They do SO much more, but the point is, I want some freedom. Just a little bit, to feel like what it is to actually have a life, and meet people I don't get to talk to every day, and to occasionally meet my best friends every once in a while. They hover over me, making sure whatever I do is "appropriate", and just SO MUCH, they're suffocating me. I want to lay back a little bit, I already have enough stress, anxiety, and depression, I don't need anything else added to it. I try so hard talking to them about how I feel, but they just don't listen. I feel like I should just give up, cut out the goody two shoes crap, and start rebelling. Otherwise I'll stay a loser who knows nothing but the world of School.

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